Immortal
by lostdreams1
Summary: Trapped on either side of the well, Kagome and Inuyasha must overcome the time between them and find a peace within themselves. (Song fic...one shot)


Immortal Love  
  
-@--@-  
  
Disclaimer: Inuyasha and Kagome do not belong to me and neither does the song My Immortal by Evanescence, which I might add is one of the most beautiful songs, but it really really depressing.  
  
lostdreams: Well we all know what happens when I fall in love with a song or get one stuck in my head. My newest group is Evanescence and I happened to get another song in my head that, once I actually read the lyrics, could make a very good song-fic, granting that I don't screw it up with the words. A word of warning..this is rather depressing as far as my fics go..I'm usually the 'always-have-a-silver-lining' type of person, but yea..not this time..  
  
At any rate..Here's your pigeon..  
  
Synopsis: Trapped on either side of the well, Kagome and Inuyasha must overcome the time between them and find a peace within themselves.  
  
-@--@-  
  
immortal love  
  
-@--@-  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all of my childish fears  
  
-@--@-  
  
A pair of once beautiful golden eyes, now a tarnished bronze, gazed down on the aforementioned well. He was so close, yet so impossibly far from her. It had been half a year, but Inuyasha had stayed, even after he found the well no longer worked. He didn't know why. There was no reason for him to stay. Nothing was holding him there.  
  
No..that was a lie. This is where he felt closest to her. In his friendless reality, he clung to her memory, took solace in it.  
  
It had taken him awhile to realize that she was never coming back. He knew the well had been sealed from his side almost immediately. He had tried to follow her not even an hour after she had gone. He had become furious when it had kept him from going to her. After venting some anger on a few unfortunate trees, he had taken up watch over the well, refusing to give up hope that she'd someday return. But time passed and no Kagome. Days faded to weeks, and weeks to months, so on and so forth. He accepted that it was over now, yet he was still stuck, unwilling to leave the places where her memory was the strongest.  
  
-@--@-  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
-@--@-  
  
Once bright eyes stared listlessly into nothing. A once vibrant raven- haired girl sat apathetically on the edge of a decrepit well. Formerly her portal to a new world, a world that she had foolishly given up, the well was now nothing more than an empty hole. It no longer gave way to the shining light that carried her gently between ages. It was dead, she was dead..empty..just like the well.  
  
Her mother and grandfather had both threatened to have the well house sealed after they had found her the first time. She had cried herself sick in the bottom, refusing to leave least the portal reopen while she was gone. Slowly they had managed to make Kagome face reality. There was no more going back. She was trapped. She was alone. Upon realizing this Kagome clung to the memories, unwilling to let life fade the pages of her time with him.  
  
It had been love, real love. She realized that now.  
  
[I was a fool,] she thought sadly, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She had lasted one week and that had been it. Upon her return to the well, Kagome had found it sealed, never to be reopened. She had tried everything she could thing of to get back to that world, back to him. Sighing heavily, Kagome slowly left the shack making her way back to her room.  
  
-@--@-  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just to real  
  
There's just to much that time cannot erase  
  
-@--@-  
  
One year. That was how long he had known her, been with her. The year itself had seemed long, but now it couldn't even begin the time Inuyasha wanted to spend with her. He hadn't thought it possible to love someone so absolutely, to belong to that one person so much that you were incomplete without them. He would never find that kind of feeling again. Never.  
  
-@--@-  
  
When you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
  
-@--@-  
  
Realizing that she was alone, Kagome never felt so vulnerable in her life. For the first time in a year, she didn't have someone watching out for her. Not that she couldn't watch out for herself, but knowing Inuyasha was nearby had become Kagome's security blanket. She hadn't realized just how much she had relied on him until that blanket had been torn away. Now suddenly without, she felt small and helpless. It didn't help that she also felt completely alone. Which was untrue. It was surprising really, deep down Kagome knew her friends loved her, she knew her family loved her, but she just couldn't see it, couldn't feel it. They were all trying to fix her, but she didn't need fixing. She wasn't broken, just not whole. She needed to be completed. They didn't know and would never understand.  
  
-@--@-  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
-@--@-  
  
[Why didn't I tell her?] The question plagued Inuyasha. He had had the chance. When she had left for the last time. Kagome had said her goodbyes in the village. It had been a tear fest and Inuyasha had avoided it completely. Rather he waited by the well. They had already discussed that it was better for her to go back. She still had a family and life there. It was safer. That had been the kicker for Inuyasha. That's why he had let her go. It didn't matter that he would be there to protect her. It didn't change the fact that her world was just plain safer, more human friendly. He remembered it so clearly that sometimes he would see her form coming toward the well, toward him. She had started crying again the minute she saw him..  
  
*#*#*Flashback*#*#*  
  
"Inuyasha..I was afraid you weren't going to say goodbye," Kagome said softly. She was clearly trying to control her emotions and failing miserably. Inuyasha fought the instinct to take her in his arms, to comfort her and soothe her. He refrained only because he knew once he took hold he would never let her go, regardless of their agreement.  
  
"Keh..I just wanted you to take this stupid rosary off before you go," he said gruffly. Kagome smiled and shook her head sadly.  
  
"I guess I should have expected that," she said softly, fresh tears forming. Reaching forward she gently pulled at the necklace. It fell apart in her hands. Inuyasha watched as the brown beads bounced along the hard ground, disappearing in the grass. It was broken, gone. Inuyasha wanted it back almost immediately. It was a bond he shared with her, a really messed up subduing bond, but a bond all the same Kagome tried to smile again, but failed. Unable to meet his gaze, she kept her head down. Silence over took them and the emotions began running high.  
  
"Don't go," he said finally. Kagome looked up in shock.  
  
"I have to," she said softly. Inuyasha nodded.  
  
"I know, but don't go," he repeated, taking a hold of her hand. "I-I" Kagome had stared at him, her eyes wide. He wished then and there he knew what she was thinking.  
  
"Inuyasha.." she whispered, throwing her arms around him. After a tight hug, Kagome let go and backed away. "I'll come and visit soon," she promised. Inuyasha nodded. She offered one last smile as she disappeared over the edge..forever.  
  
*#*#*End Flashback*#*#*  
  
She was going to leave, but she'd visit. That had been the plan. He cursed himself constantly for letting her leave. He should have guessed that with the Shikon complete, the well would become inactive. He should have known!  
  
-@--@-  
  
You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating light  
  
But now i'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
-@--@-  
  
He was completely alone now..again.. Kagome had been the bond between the Sengoku Jidai natives. She had been the glue, the force that held them all together as friends. She was the kind of person that just drew others in. No one could resist Kagome's charm. He couldn't.  
  
When she had gone, after the truth that she was never returning was accepted, they had left. Sango, Miroku and Shippo all went on with their lives. They could. Inuyasha let a wry smile cross his face. They had asked, no more like begged him to come with them. They tried to fill his head with the brutal reality, but Inuyasha was comfortable in his world. Besides, with them gone, he could mourn her loss in peace. He just wasn't ready to leave yet. He knew that if he could just get through the blasted well, he would be with her for always. If he could only get through..  
  
-@--@-  
  
Your face it haunts  
  
My once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away  
  
All the sanity in me  
  
-@--@-  
  
Sure, Kagome had tried to bring her life back to normal. After her initial grieving, she had returned to school and tried to fall back to her regular life, but it was impossible. The ache inside her swelled anytime something would remind her of Inuyasha, and it seemed that everything reminded her of Inuyasha. The boy wearing a red coat..Inuyasha wore red. The girl with long hair..Inuyasha's hair was longer. The boy with the bad attitude..Inuyasha's was worse. The girl with the long fingernails..Inuyasha's claws were sharper. And so it went. Kagome could relate almost anything to Inuyasha. In fact it became a sort of game for her. The tree with the low hanging limb..Inuyasha used to sleep in trees. The jogger running through the park..Inuyasha was way faster. It hurt the worst when she would see couples together, holding hands, giggling, cuddling..things she should be doing with Inuyasha.  
  
She had even tried dating once. Big mistake. Kagome had felt guilty all the while she had been getting ready, as though she were betraying someone. When Hojo had shown up to get her, Kagome had slammed the door in his face. She had waited up in her room until Hojo finally got the hint and left, before she ran out to the well house. She tried to go through, just in case, but wasn't surprised when nothing happened. Letting the tears come, Kagome had cried in the bottom of the well, apologizing to the air for even considering trying to like someone else. Since then Kagome detached herself.  
  
Now she knew that she was never going to return to normal. How could she when the biggest piece of her was missing? No longer caring to try, Kagome slowly fell into an almost reclusive life. Her friends tried to help, but eventually gave up. Kagome was content on being miserable. In fact, she wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
-@--@-  
  
These wounds won't heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
When you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand for all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me  
  
-@--@-  
  
[Do you think of me? Do you miss me? Do you regret leaving?] These questions were almost constantly running through the hanyou's mind. He didn't doubt that Kagome had feelings for him, but were they equivalent to her his own for her? It was becoming more frequent that Inuyasha began to wish that he would fall into the same sort of sleep he had been in when Kagome had first found him. Perhaps if it happened again she'd be there to wake him again.  
  
-@--@-  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myslef that you're gone  
  
And though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along  
  
-@--@-  
  
+I know that I'm fooling myself. I know that there is no way I'll see Inuyasha again. I'm hanging on to a memory, a dream. I need to grow up.+  
  
Kagome sighed and snapped her diary closed.  
  
"But I don't want too." Looking at her desk, her eyes settled on a small glass bottle that had once held jewel shards. Three dark brown beads and one white tooth shaped bead sat in it, pieces of the rosary that had once adjourned Inuyasha's neck. They had fallen into her backpack the day she left. She had put them in the jar when she discovered there was no going back. They were a little piece of him, her only piece.  
  
"I didn't care if you didn't love me Inuyasha," she told the jar, turning it over in her hands. "I would have stayed anyway. Just to be near you.." Tears began falling softly down her cheeks. "I would have done anything you asked. I still would," she cried determinedly. Giving up thinking, Kagome placed the vile under her pillow and cried herself to sleep as was becoming a nightly ritual. Giving way to slumber dreams of her old life surfaced, bringing with them the love and friendship she missed.  
  
-@--@-  
  
When you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand for all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
-@--@-  
  
*Nine Months Later*  
  
Kagome walked slowly to the well house. It was the one-year anniversary. She was out of tears, out of emotions, out of reasons to cling. Carrying but a single red rose and the small glass vile with the old rosary beads, she stepped quietly into the dilapidated shack as if she was afraid of disturbing someone.  
  
"Hi Inuyasha," she said softly, closing the door behind her. She shivered as a non-existent chill ran down her spine. It was weird, but she never felt alone here. "I can't believe it's been a whole year since I last saw you. I think about you all the time." Walking slowly to the edge of the well, Kagome peered into the darkness. She couldn't see the bottom, but she knew all to well that it was there. Settling down on the edge, Kagome felt a familiar presence..his.  
  
"I came to say that I'll always miss you, I'll always think about you, and I'll always love you, but I'm not going to visit anymore," Kagome's voice began to crack, but she swallowed the lump in her throat. "You're in me Inuyasha, and I am forever yours but, there's no point in making myself come here anymore. It's just a reminder that I cannot be with you and that just hurts." Kagome stood up again, tracing her hand on the worn wood of the well. "I just wanted you to know that I'm okay, and I will be okay." Kagome smiled when she realized her words were true. Smiling sadly, Kagome dropped the rose and the vile over the edge. The tinkle of shattering glass let her know it had hit the bottom. Giving one last look around the old shack, she felt what was left of her heart pick up its pieces and begin mending. Things would never be they way they were, the way they should be, but the would get better. From this point on she was done. Emotionally and mentally she was fried. It would always hurt, but it was a good pain. Kagome had begun to accept the pain part of him. He was with her always, in her very soul. She would cherish that. The final tear she had left unshed glistened brightly on her cheek.  
  
[Good-bye..Inuyasha.]  
  
-@--@-  
  
Inuyasha stood quickly. He could have sworn he heard Kagome's voice. Leaping through the air, Inuyasha landed lightly on the edge of the well. The scent alone was enough to tell him that no one was there. It was the same musty mildewy smell that had become the trademark scent for the structure. Peering down into the darkness, Inuyasha thought he saw something on the bottom. Dropping to the well bed a new sweet aroma hit his nose. Reaching down, Inuyasha picked up the strangest looking plant he had ever seen. It was a flower, he knew that much, but it was far different from any flowers around here. Easily hopping out of the well, Inuyasha studied the object in the light. It was dark red and the petals were soft. It was beautiful. Sniffing it more closely, Inuyasha caught another scent on the flower. The scent of the woman he had been missing for so long. Giving a rare and genuine smile, Inuyasha somehow knew exactly what the flower was meant to be. Tossing the rose back into the well, he turned and began walking slowly away. Truly, it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. He understood that very well.  
  
"I love you Kagome," he told the wind, as the distance between him and the well increased. "Good-bye.."  
  
-@--@-  
  
lostdreams: I warned you it wasn't happy. Okay. I'm done being all droopy and sad, back to the norm for me. Please review if you enjoyed it! 


End file.
